Braaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinsssss

One of the few games to truly titillate my technological taste-buds this year has been Capcom's latest zombie-fest, “Resident Track and field 5”.... **SORRY** Resident Evil 5

“Resident Track and Field?” I hear you questioningly muttering into your corn flakes! (unless you are reading this in the afternoon or evening, in which case you may be eating a sandwich..... or maybe some form of pasta dish) "What's that all about?" Well it's time to get one of my 3 main gripes about the game out of the way...

Button bashing..... a lot of it! I am pretty certain the A button on my controller is not going to survive another play-through, what with sequences involving pressing it a billion times a second to run away from falling pillars to random spasms of bashing to avoid massive claws courtesy of the latest boss type. I don't get it! There is one boss battle where you have to remove a gem from the baddie by spamming the X button as fast as possible while your partner holds them (which requires, oh yes, hammering the A button). Now this is all well and good but in Veteran difficulty they don't make the enemy harder to grab, faster or stronger, they just make you do the mindless mashing more, AND MORE! It's infuriating!

Rant 2: The controls... The main character, Chris, is plugged as some kind of super soldiery elite bloke. Hell! Look at his arms!
I doubt he could even scratch his own chin! Yet he is also incapable of moving whilst aiming or firing his gun..... Did they not cover simple multi-tasking in STARS basic training?

*Final rant* The partner AI: Ridiculous! No other word for it! I have taken to using her as a pack mule and health item administrator.... If I give her a gun she tends to put a few magazines into my back before running off in search of more ammo to irritate me with. That may be enough, but imagine my displeasure when, during my speed run last night, I got to a door that requires both characters to open. It turns out I had to leg it back to the start of the area to find her as the poor thing couldn't quite work out how to get around that monumental hindrance to human foot travel: a tire on the floor.... that was it.... she was stuck behind it, unable to fathom its secrets.

So, 3 rants = poor game right? WRONG! I am hooked on this game, I have completed most levels in veteran when co-op-ing with my friend Dave (which is, by the way, the only way to fly in this game*) Andi have finished the game on easy mode (yeah yeah! n00b etc! I present infinite magnum ammo, suck it). The story is good if a little over acted at times, and the weapons upgrade system is fantastic (even if it did lead to Dave and I spending a fair while pondering the practicalities of a 100 round magazine for a M92.... I mean, how would you holster the thing?)

I am hooked on this game and will not be done with it until I have sucked every drop out of its smooth shiny existence..... Once you get around the RSI from button bashing and frustrating AI, there is good fun to be had, I even got used to the controls (which for me is a big thing, Transformers got returned within the day due to control annoyance!)

I would like to sign off my first review by mentioning a subject that surrounded Resi5 in controversy and that is the subject of racism....

There, I mentioned it! Hey I don't do politics!

Thanks for reading

Peace, out


*Other friends can be used if you don't have a Dave to hand